My First Thanksgiving!

How do you like my turkey bib?

Ofer's kids

These are Ofer's kids, Lital and Noam.

They seemed happy to miss school for this.

I am officially named!

This is my grandfather naming me after his dad, whose name was Solomon Jacob Kirmayer.

Eliyahu's Chair

These are my parents holding me on Eliyahu's chair.

I googled Eliyahu, because I wanted to understand why I am on his chair. I found the following explanation, which I thought I might share with you all:

Eliyahu lived in the 9th century BCE during the reign of Ahav, king of Yisrael. Eliyahu is frequently referred to in Jewish literature as the promised precursor of the Mashaich and as the dynamic helper in distress and guiding teacher of the Sages. Whenever there was an unsolved legal or religious problem, the great teachers of Jewish tradition would end the debate by saying "this is for Eliyahu to solve." It was expected that all controversies and disputes which had accumulated in the course of time would be adjusted by him.

Tradition is that Eliyahu roams about the earth testing the hospitality and goodness of men and women. As the "angel of the covenant" (Malachi 3:1) and protector of children, he is believed to be the invisible participant at circumcisions. Seated at the right hand of the sandek, the person privileged to hold the child during the circumcision ceremony, invisible Eliyahu guards the infant from danger. Also, the symbolic chair known as "Eliyahu's Chair," set aside for the prophet, is left in position for three days, the dangerous period following the operation.

Traditions is also that Eliyahu will settle every doubtful case in Judaism shortly before the advent of Mashiach. Eliyahu's Cup of wine, which is placed on the Pesach Seder table, is linked with a Talmudic dispute as to whether four or five glasses of wine are to be used at the Seder celebration. Hence the extra cup, known as Eliyahu's Cup, conveys the thought that the question could not be solved by the authorities of the Talmud and must therefore wait for Eliyahu's decision.

At least they gave me some booze.

This is me having a little red wine.

I think Ofer felt bad after holding my legs down, so he gave me as much wine as he could get into that little piece of cloth.

Today I became a Jew -- What the *&%$ was that?

I totally didn't expect this. One minute I was nice and comfortably asleep in my mom's hands, the next thing I know, I am being carried on some pillow by my grandmothers and a Rabbi starts cutting into my private parts. My grandma's cousin, Ofer Aharon, is holding my legs down under the guise of being the sandak, or "godfather" in English. Isn't the godfather the guy who is supposed to take care of you throughout your life. What kind of betrayal is this?

Not to mention my parents -- what on earth were they thinking?

Alla comes bearing a camera!

My aunt Alla came bearing a camera, and an insane amount of clothes. I am basically prepared for every occasion -- I even have my own "my first chanukah outfit," and a special bib with a turkey on it for thanksgiving.

Here are some of the pictures snapped that day.

Grandpa Grigory holds me for the first time

Grandpa Grigory was initially a little afraid of holding me, but then warmed up to the idea and I think quite liked it.

As you can see, I felt very comfortable.

Cousin Abby comes to visit

My dad's cousin Abby came to visit from Israel today, but we can't find a picture with her yet. Is it possible that we didn't take any?

We will definitely need to include a picture here soon.

Doda Hilla and Safta Shosha are trailing behind Saba Dov when it comes to sleeping comfort.

This would have been a closer call if their's worked like my mom's do.

Sleeping on Saba Dov proves to be very comfortable.

Turns out that sleeping on Saba Dov is pretty comfortable -- who woudha thunk it?

I come home!

Today my dad came with my aunt and took me and my mom back home, and what's the first thing I see?

That's right, the house is for sale. If this place isn't good enough for them, why are they bringing me here anyways?

Truth is, they almost kept me in the hospital (doctor said I am a little yellow), but after pricking me with a needle, they decided I was not that yellow after all.


Here are some pictures of my homecoming.

First meeting with my aunt Hilla

This is me meeting my aunt Hilla, who also came from Canada. She lives in Toronto.

She could only stay for a few days because she has to work, but the good thing is that she is a flight attendant so she can come whenever she wants. Yippee!

Grandma Shoshana and Grandpa Dov come from Canada

Today my grandparents, Shoshana & Dov came to visit me from Canada!

Here is me with grandma Shoshana at the hospital.

Lilly comes to visit

My mom's friend lilly came to visit today. Isn't she pretty?

Looking for a good landlord tenant lawyer

After a rough night, I decided to send the e-mail below to many people that my mom and dad know:

Hi,

You probably don't know me. My name is Jacob Solomon Kirmayer and I am 7 pounds 11 ounces. I hacked into my dad's email to see if you know a good landlord-tenant lawyer who can help me.

I was living with my mom for 9 months. Generally, I must say, I was happy. I was never hungry, no one charged me rent, the place was completely insulated and even soundproofing was state of the art. My only issue was that the place felt like it kept getting smaller and smaller. Eventually, I decided to complain to my mom, and guess what? My own mom tried to evict me. For 48 hours she tried to get me out, but I resisted. She tried to push me out as hard as she could, but I was stronger.

Eventually she called in this doctor who specializes in this sort of thing and he demolished my place. I tried to resist but he was armed with a knife. They finally evicted me at 2:58 a.m., November 14, 2005.

So now, I live in a bassinet at New York Methodist Hospital in Brooklyn, and let me tell you -- it's no picnic. If I don't cry no one knows I am hungry, the place is poorly insulated (it feels like an arctic cold front every time someone takes my blanket off) and I hear the babies next door like they are in my own bed. I am definitely not paying rent for this place.

If I had a social security number, I might try to get a job and get a better

place, but in the meantime, I am stuck in this bassinet. Sveta, my mom (who is healthy and resting), and Asi, my dad are just ecstatic about all this.

I even have evidence for all this.

Sincerely,

Jacob Solomon Kirmayer

Here are a few pictures, me in the bassinet, and me with my mom and dad.

Zena visits me in hopital

Zena came to visit with her boyfriend Eran today. There are no pictures, because the camera didn't work. Just thought I would mention it. I liked her.

Cousin Stella comes, she has a camera and she is ready to use it

My mom's cousin Stella and her husband Michael came to visit today. Cousin Stella really likes to take pictures. Made me feel like a movie star.

This is one with me, counsin Stella and my dad. I think Michael was taking the picture.

Aunt Alla and Uncle Roman visit in the hospital.

My aunt Alla and uncle Roman showed up a little after my grandparents Liza and Grigory.

Well, one thing I have to say about my aunt Alla, is that she certainly did not come empty handed. She brought with her a huge bouquet of flowers for my mom, with a whole bunch of balloons. There was even supposed to be a talking balloon, but the flower shop screwed up the order a little -- my mom was quite grateful .

No digital pictures with Alla or Roman from that morning, but here is a picture of me with Alla from later in the week.

The string on the pacifier is also curtesy of Alla.

My grandparents, Liza & Grigory come to see me!

I hear grandpa Grigory and Grandma Liza were waiting a very long time for my arrival. They were a little emotional when they saw me, and I won them over right away.

We are still waiting for digital images from that morning to show up, but until then, here are a few pictures with them later on in the week.

I am born!!!!

I was born November 14, 2005 at 2:58 a.m. at New York Methodist Hospital in Brooklyn, New York, to my mom, Svetlana, and my Dad, Asi.

These are a couple of pictures of me from around 2:58 a.m. that morning.