Thursday, November 24, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005
Eliyahu's Chair


These are my parents holding me on Eliyahu's chair.
I googled Eliyahu, because I wanted to understand why I am on his chair. I found the following explanation, which I thought I might share with you all:
Eliyahu lived in the 9th century BCE during the reign of Ahav, king of Yisrael. Eliyahu is frequently referred to in Jewish literature as the promised precursor of the Mashaich and as the dynamic helper in distress and guiding teacher of the Sages. Whenever there was an unsolved legal or religious problem, the great teachers of Jewish tradition would end the debate by saying "this is for Eliyahu to solve." It was expected that all controversies and disputes which had accumulated in the course of time would be adjusted by him.
Tradition is that Eliyahu roams about the earth testing the hospitality and goodness of men and women. As the "angel of the covenant" (Malachi 3:1) and protector of children, he is believed to be the invisible participant at circumcisions. Seated at the right hand of the sandek, the person privileged to hold the child during the circumcision ceremony, invisible Eliyahu guards the infant from danger. Also, the symbolic chair known as "Eliyahu's Chair," set aside for the prophet, is left in position for three days, the dangerous period following the operation.
Traditions is also that Eliyahu will settle every doubtful case in Judaism shortly before the advent of Mashiach. Eliyahu's Cup of wine, which is placed on the Pesach Seder table, is linked with a Talmudic dispute as to whether four or five glasses of wine are to be used at the Seder celebration. Hence the extra cup, known as Eliyahu's Cup, conveys the thought that the question could not be solved by the authorities of the Talmud and must therefore wait for Eliyahu's decision.
Today I became a Jew -- What the *&%$ was that?


I totally didn't expect this. One minute I was nice and comfortably asleep in my mom's hands, the next thing I know, I am being carried on some pillow by my grandmothers and a Rabbi starts cutting into my private parts. My grandma's cousin, Ofer Aharon, is holding my legs down under the guise of being the sandak, or "godfather" in English. Isn't the godfather the guy who is supposed to take care of you throughout your life. What kind of betrayal is this?
Not to mention my parents -- what on earth were they thinking?
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Friday, November 18, 2005
Cousin Abby comes to visit
We will definitely need to include a picture here soon.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
I come home!




Today my dad came with my aunt and took me and my mom back home, and what's the first thing I see?
That's right, the house is for sale. If this place isn't good enough for them, why are they bringing me here anyways?
Truth is, they almost kept me in the hospital (doctor said I am a little yellow), but after pricking me with a needle, they decided I was not that yellow after all.
Here are some pictures of my homecoming.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Looking for a good landlord tenant lawyer




After a rough night, I decided to send the e-mail below to many people that my mom and dad know:
Hi,
You probably don't know me. My name is Jacob Solomon Kirmayer and I am 7 pounds 11 ounces. I hacked into my dad's email to see if you know a good landlord-tenant lawyer who can help me.
I was living with my mom for 9 months. Generally, I must say, I was happy. I was never hungry, no one charged me rent, the place was completely insulated and even soundproofing was state of the art. My only issue was that the place felt like it kept getting smaller and smaller. Eventually, I decided to complain to my mom, and guess what? My own mom tried to evict me. For 48 hours she tried to get me out, but I resisted. She tried to push me out as hard as she could, but I was stronger.
Eventually she called in this doctor who specializes in this sort of thing and he demolished my place. I tried to resist but he was armed with a knife. They finally evicted me at 2:58 a.m., November 14, 2005.
So now, I live in a bassinet at New York Methodist Hospital in Brooklyn, and let me tell you -- it's no picnic. If I don't cry no one knows I am hungry, the place is poorly insulated (it feels like an arctic cold front every time someone takes my blanket off) and I hear the babies next door like they are in my own bed. I am definitely not paying rent for this place.
If I had a social security number, I might try to get a job and get a better
place, but in the meantime, I am stuck in this bassinet. Sveta, my mom (who is healthy and resting), and Asi, my dad are just ecstatic about all this.
I even have evidence for all this.
Jacob Solomon Kirmayer
Here are a few pictures, me in the bassinet, and me with my mom and dad.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Zena visits me in hopital
Monday, November 14, 2005
Aunt Alla and Uncle Roman visit in the hospital.

My aunt Alla and uncle Roman showed up a little after my grandparents Liza and Grigory.
Well, one thing I have to say about my aunt Alla, is that she certainly did not come empty handed. She brought with her a huge bouquet of flowers for my mom, with a whole bunch of balloons. There was even supposed to be a talking balloon, but the flower shop screwed up the order a little -- my mom was quite grateful .
No digital pictures with Alla or Roman from that morning, but here is a picture of me with Alla from later in the week.
The string on the pacifier is also curtesy of Alla.
My grandparents, Liza & Grigory come to see me!


I hear grandpa Grigory and Grandma Liza were waiting a very long time for my arrival. They were a little emotional when they saw me, and I won them over right away.
We are still waiting for digital images from that morning to show up, but until then, here are a few pictures with them later on in the week.






















