Today I became a Jew -- What the *&%$ was that?

I totally didn't expect this. One minute I was nice and comfortably asleep in my mom's hands, the next thing I know, I am being carried on some pillow by my grandmothers and a Rabbi starts cutting into my private parts. My grandma's cousin, Ofer Aharon, is holding my legs down under the guise of being the sandak, or "godfather" in English. Isn't the godfather the guy who is supposed to take care of you throughout your life. What kind of betrayal is this?

Not to mention my parents -- what on earth were they thinking?