Looking for a good landlord tenant lawyer

After a rough night, I decided to send the e-mail below to many people that my mom and dad know:

Hi,

You probably don't know me. My name is Jacob Solomon Kirmayer and I am 7 pounds 11 ounces. I hacked into my dad's email to see if you know a good landlord-tenant lawyer who can help me.

I was living with my mom for 9 months. Generally, I must say, I was happy. I was never hungry, no one charged me rent, the place was completely insulated and even soundproofing was state of the art. My only issue was that the place felt like it kept getting smaller and smaller. Eventually, I decided to complain to my mom, and guess what? My own mom tried to evict me. For 48 hours she tried to get me out, but I resisted. She tried to push me out as hard as she could, but I was stronger.

Eventually she called in this doctor who specializes in this sort of thing and he demolished my place. I tried to resist but he was armed with a knife. They finally evicted me at 2:58 a.m., November 14, 2005.

So now, I live in a bassinet at New York Methodist Hospital in Brooklyn, and let me tell you -- it's no picnic. If I don't cry no one knows I am hungry, the place is poorly insulated (it feels like an arctic cold front every time someone takes my blanket off) and I hear the babies next door like they are in my own bed. I am definitely not paying rent for this place.

If I had a social security number, I might try to get a job and get a better

place, but in the meantime, I am stuck in this bassinet. Sveta, my mom (who is healthy and resting), and Asi, my dad are just ecstatic about all this.

I even have evidence for all this.

Sincerely,

Jacob Solomon Kirmayer

Here are a few pictures, me in the bassinet, and me with my mom and dad.